The central goal of PET is to present skills that can help you have happy, healthy and satisfying relationships with the children in your life. The Effective Parent/Carer:
- Listens with understanding. You will help children to solve their own problems and meet their own needs
- Communicates honestly. you will disclose your feelings, needs and values in order to prevent conflicts
- Problem solves fairly. You will resolve conflicts between you and your child; and you will help your children resolve the conflicts they have between themselves.
- Shares values respectfully. You will know how to work with values collisions and differences.
The Principles Underpinning PET
The founding principle of Parent Effectiveness Training (PET) is a belief that children aren’t bad or naughty; they simply behave in ways that satisfy a need they are experiencing in that moment. A baby cries because she is hungry; a four-year-old sticks his hands into a pot of paint and spills it on the carpet because he wants to play with the paint, to explore; a sixteen-year-old comes home later than you feel is safe because she feels a need to be with her friends. Humans need to meet their needs so they can learn and grow. This includes children AND their parents. It is in meeting these conflicting needs that most parent/child relationships get into trouble.
PET focusses on teaching the Democratic/Authoritative style.
There are three types of parenting styles: Authoritarian, Permissive and Authoritative (or Democratic). The Democratic/authoritative style emphasises acceptance of the child as s/he is. There is no need for parents to use power over children – or submit to them – as the understanding is that needs of both parent and child are important. This means that conflicts can be resolved using communication skills and a problem-solving process that ensures everyone gets their need met. (Psychology Today: Authoritative versus Authoritarian Parenting Style)
You might not get what you want, but everyone will get what they need
The conceptual model is the Behavior Window, a framework developed by Dr Thomas Gordon for determining who owns the problem. Parents learn to use this window to help them to decide which skill to use depending on whose problem it is. The Behavior Window provides a framework for dealing with all behaviors; and there are communication and conflict resolution skills to handle any relationship problem.
Evidence based and grounded in Humanistic Psychology
Practical Parenting Skills is an approach that combines the work of Dr Thomas Gordon (Parent Effectiveness Training) and Dr Carl Rogers.(Person Centred Approach). Both worked together at the University of Chicago in the 1960s, developing models for effective relationships within therapy, leadership, parenting, teaching and peace work; and both were nominated, separately, for the Nobel Peace Prize, for their contributions to the betterment of humanity.
Reasons to Enrol on to PET
We often parent our children in the way we have been parented. Although this may feel familiar, it might not feel ‘right’ and it may not be working. Parents join us to discover a way to parent that feels authentic and that can adapt to the needs of individual children, as they grow and change. It can be used with all verbal children (and all abilities) – from toddlers to teenagers. There are more reasons to enrol here; and some of our parent/carers have been kind enough to submit independent reviews, which give a personal view of why they joined a parenting class.
Get some training to update your skills
These communication and conflict resolution skills will help to develop and maintain a democratic, mutually satisfying relationship between parent and child; and between parent and parent. By investing your time and money in a PET Parenting Class, you will find the answers to the following questions and the communication skills to build and maintain strong long-term relationships with your children.
We work in very small groups (max 8 people), so book now if you are interested in joining us.